Posts Tagged ‘grow’


Todays prompt in the 30 days journal-project was “To practise any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.” Kurt Vonnegut.

Arts, that I want to practise… I do not think, this is only about arts like painting, writing, crafting…. Anything really can be made to be an art, the art of loving (yourself), the art of living (a fulfilled life), the art of….. anything.

Writing in my journal I only focused on painting and singing, as arts that I would like to practise. I haven’t been singing “properly” for almost 15 years now and I miss it. The time for singing will come again. But I am painting, and it makes me feel good. With both arts I can express myself, they make my soul grow, because I feel good when I paint or sing. A growing soul shows confidence, and confidence lets my soul shine, makes me shine. I shine.

The painting above this post was made on stretched canvas, with collage, water-soluble crayons, acrylics and markers, in Summer 2012. It’s not big, about A4-A3 size, but it warms my heart the way it shines.


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A while ago, I think it was after a night out, a happy night out, I went to bed and while falling asleep I started to think about my kids. And whenever they occupy my mind like this I get a very warm feeling in my belly, like a cozy fire reaching up to my heart. And my heart feels so full of LOVE. For both of them. For each of them.

After I gave birth to our daughter, holding her in my arms and looking at her, I had the same feeling. That kind that brings tears to your eyes, happy tears, like spilling over. And I thought to myself, how can I ever share this LOVE that I feel now for my little baby with a babybrother or -sister to come some time? But I know now: This LOVE is not being shared. The second my son started growing in me it was not only him getting bigger. It was as if my heart was expanding in a different dimension and at the same time filling up with LOVE for this little being. And no LOVE had to be shared, it just came into being.

Knowing this I now can say with an absolute certainty about each of my children, that I LOVE one of them more without LOVING the other one less as well as being more proud of one of them without being less proud of the other. And it does make no difference whose name is in which part of these two certainties, they can be changed around all the time.

And having all these thoughts running around in my mind in what felt like hours, but was probably more like 2 minutes, I saw the rough picture of what I wanted to put on canvas next. So “Heart of A Mother” was being born. It is my biggest painting yet (a bigger yet canvas is waiting downstairs for me though) and it was pretty scary to start, but once I did I just kept on going.

Heart of A Mother, acrylics, markers and watercolour on canvas, 80×60 cm


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